Freelance writer Jaine Austen is hired to write novelty lyrics for a contestant in the Miss Teen Queen America contest. Soon she is embroiled in the cutthroat world of beauty pageants, where pageant moms duke it out like barracudas in Spanx, and teenage daughters show off their dubious talents in costumes studded with enough sequins to choke a Rockette. Everyone cringes under the rule of the autocratic pageant director--a bribe-taking, blackmailing snake of a woman. It's no surprise when one of the pageant director's many enemies sets out to kill her. But tragedy strikes when the killer winds up attacking the pageant director's mousy assistant by mistake, bludgeoning her to death with a rhinestone tiara. When Jaine's client is accused of the murder, Jaine sets out to find the real killer--all the while trying to impress the impossibly snobby parents of her hot new boyfriend.