Give it a rest, ye merry gentlemen : an introduction / P.J. O'Rourke
Why I love Christmas / John Waters
A fruitcake theory / Calvin Trillin
Home for the holidays : a survivor's frightening account / Chris Radant
'Tis the season for halitosis / Jonathan Ames
The Christmas party & how to mix a Christmas wassail / Corey Ford
The Madonna of turkey season / Jay McInerney
Two Thanksgiving poems / Billy Collins
Susie's letter from Santa / Mark Twain
A Christmas spectacle / Robert C. Benchley
Waiting for santy : a Christmas playlet / S.J. Perelman
Xmas words / Roy Blount Jr.
Christmas carol / Lewis Lapham
Two selections from I hate Christmas / Daniel Blythe
The terrible fourth day of Christmas / Scott Horton
Selections from Mercurius religiosus : faithfully communicating to the whole nation, the vanity of Christmas / Anonymous
Christmas shopping : a survivor's guide / Dave Barry
Santa responds / Santa Claus
The compleat shopper : George Plimpton's guide to gift giving / George Plimpton
Merry Christmas / James Thurber
Christmas is a sad season for the poor / John Cheever
Christmas dreams and cruel memories / Hunter S. Thompson
Against winter / Charles Simic
Christmas Freud / David Rakoff
The truth about Santa (an apocalyptic holiday tale) / Greg Kotis
Ceremonies that have not recrudesced because we never succeeded in getting rid of them in the first place / P.J. O'Rourke
Last last chance / Fiona Maazel
Oh, Christmas tree / Augusten Burroughs
Keeping Christmas in your heart all year long / Alysia Gray Painter
Christmas means giving / David Sedaris.
